Linda Octa’s blog

We sent ah Seng to airport last night… The day that we didn’t look forward to had came… I tried to show my happy face but deep down my heart I was sad. I know I am going to miss him and yes… When I reached home, my sister listened to a song that remind me of him… The song we sang together. He accompanied me when I have lunch break at work. He is one of the person I can share my problem with… Seng, I will miss all those time we spend together. Will miss playing badminton, have dinner, sing and watch movie together. But I know this is not the ending. We will cross our path again in the future. I m looking forward to meet u again next year on your graduation. Take care and good luck my friend, my brother and my light. Love u always

Spring now… But weather is still wet. It has been drizzling since last night. It’s predicted we will hv more rains… I took a few picture whilst I was on the way home. It’s just 5 pm but the the road was full of haze. But radio mentioned summer will hit 40!!! I shall prepare myself

To my handsome brother: Sun, wish you all the best and be matured!!!! Love you and miss you (from your beloved sister LO & LA)

I have been procrastinating since my graduation (I deserve it, do I?). And gradually my life starts to go back to the correct track. After been through so much pain for the last few months, I learned to think for myself. People might laugh at my stupidity in the past, but *shrug* why should I bother as long as I am happy? End of the day I am the person who has the last laugh.

Anyway, good things have been happening recently:

• My immigration agent just called me and notify me that my bridging visa is confirmed, which means I am working and staying here legally. Huray!

• Australia Computer Society has accessed my skill so now I can start to process my Temporary Residency Visa application.

• I started my permanent fulltime job at Uni as Project Officer (although my job description still the same)

• I was offered to work as Technical Support at High school. I was tempted with the offer and benefits but after knowing the location I will be assigned, I turned down the offer. It’s five hours drive west from the place I stay now and I need to handle 5 different high schools with 2 hours drive distance from one to another. The thing that surprised me is that after I turned down the offer, the director understood my situation and offered me the same job but at another High school, which is only 2 hours drive from here and nearer to Brisbane. However, I need to turn down this offer again as I had just signed my permanent contract with the university. It’s nice to know that my skills and capabilities still on demand.

• My sister also being offered 18 months Software Developer contract at Uni. Congratulate sis! I know you can do it. So now we can have lunch together

Events that are going to happen but I do not wish it to happen:

• IELTS exam again on 15th November… sigh, I hope I can get band 7 for all this time.

• Ah seng going back the same day as my exam I don wish him to go back… I will miss you seng… He is my lunch companion.

• My room mate also suddenly mentioned that he is going back on 10th December. Sad sad sad… I hope he will come back

• House contract is going to finish on 6th December. Now I wonder, should I continue my contract or move in with my sister….

And now… time to meet Ah seng and and my beloved sister to have lunch!

I found love and friendship quote from one of the website I visit regularly. These are the quotes that I love:

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,
an hour to like someone, and an day to love someone…
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Love me now, love me never,
but if you love me, love me forever.

Three things of life that are most valuable -
Love, self-confidence & friends.

Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Why do you say you love me,
if you are only going to leave me?

These are a few I like the most:

Many a young lady does not realize just how strong
her love for a young man is until he fails to pass
the approval test with her parents.

People need love even when they don’t deserve it.

Say I love you and mean it,
don’t just say it cause you can.

To those people who I love… lover, family, friends… you will be always in my heart…

First, my visa status is not confirmed yet. I drove down to Brisbane to see the lawyer on Friday and turn out they haven’t helped me to settle my visa yet. Last Friday is 26th of September and my visa expired on 30th September. It took at least two business days to get the acknowledgment from the immigration to grant me a bridging visa, which, if they apply it on Friday, the two days will be the day my visa expired. I could not work and stay here if I do not have my bridging visa. Thus, I decided to talk to my lawyer to ask why it took them so long to submit my application since they never replied my email for the past one week. I worried and wondered what happen so I sent them at least one email per day and call them everyday. All I got from the call is that they just moved and have only one phone line, so the receptionist can not transfer my call to the lawyer. So I asked her to ask the lawyer to give me a call back or at least reply my mail, then I found out that the lawyer is oversea. Darn, this is not the right time! So I leave messages to her assistant instead. But… no call returned and email replied. So I decided to drove down on Friday to check if actually they can be trusted and if I should withdraw from their service. Recovery is pretty fast, the assistant explained to me what happened and she told me that she will submit my application today, which is Friday. And she wrote me a letter stated my bridging visa will be activated after my student visa expired and I am allowed to work. Then, I went back empty handed and crossed my finger I could use the letter. Her assistant will forward me the email from immigration once the immigration accepted my applications.
Today, Monday, I went to work and brought the letter so I could give the letter to the Human Resource department. I did not know that my casual contract ended last Friday until HR told me that I could not work today and tomorrow. I can only start my new work after I get my bridging visa which is this Wednesday. It’s nice cos I can take a rest and I am pretty happy that HR accepted the letter.

Second, my parents went back yesterday, pretty sad cos they seems relax and happy when they stayed here. The come for my graduation, which I am planning to put my graduation picture in this blog but I am to free to do that yet. I am glad I make them proud of me. Although it’s just a piece of paper, but I showed them I am capable to get a job here and settle down here.

Third, …. I just hope that my life will get in line soon…

Ca bo, your nice pictures. Pictures taken on 13th September 2008 with the view of Toowoomba. I posted your pictures here cos I uploaded the pictures directly from my iPhone

I realize that I never feel happy lately. Maybe cos I have so many things need to be done. I read me previous blog and realise that I have been complaining about life since few months back. And even now, I feel the same. I do miss my happy go lucky life and I know it’s up to me to change. I do want to change but the problems keep on coming. I console myself “this will be my last problem after I solve it” but luck us just not on my side, and the worst part is the new problem comes too soon! It’s not even a day yet!

Sigh, treat life lightly and easily… Now I don’t even know how to do that! Gosh, if my luck is like this till end of the year, I hope I still have the strength to face it.

I thought by planning for things ahead will help me to go through my life easier. I thought that preparing everything ahead so it’s easier for me to do things when the time come. I thought my plan is smooth enough for me to go through next stage. Now I realise that when I plan for this things I am just thinking about my part and never consider other’s feeling. I never consider if I have put so much stress on the other party. I never consider if one side is going smoothly but the other side falling down. Because want to be perfect, I forced the way I think about the best where I never consider if it’s the best of another party. And now, I need to face the consequences.

But… It’s too late now. Too late to amend the damage and recover it. People said it’s not too late to recover things when you realize your mistake. Yes, it’s not, that’s why I have been giving people chances when they do mistakes. Because I believe it’s better to recognize your problem and you can improve from that. But when apply to my life, there are only passive chances given. I made the mistake before, but all I get is a passive warning, and I thought that tomorrow will be a new day as the problem had been solved. Now? Everything exploded… and I get the ultimate punishment on those mistakes that I couldn’t even remember, or maybe I remember but I thought that was just a hiccup and had been solved. But well you can forgive people and give second chance and now you realize that in your life these people will not give you a second chance.

Sad, yes… I never lead such a beautiful life. I thought that this is going to be my future, the life I have been dream on, the dream I have been working on. But now, my life is like small pieces of broken glasses and these glasses scattered on the path that I am going to lead. If I continue on this path, it will be like I am stepping on these broken glasses. I don’t want to feel hurt and pain thus I choose to get a new path. This new path I will not depend on anybody anymore. I will have a path that destined to be only mine.

I believe that there are a few people laughing at me this time. But… *shrugs* who cares, that’s my life and I will prove that I can do it myself. And I still have those people surround me that give me support and be there for me. This gives me more reason to be stronger than before.

Mom, dad, I am so sorry to disappoint you again. But I never regret the path I took before. It makes me stronger and harder. From now on, I will focus on myself and build my own future. Love and destiny are just a flower in my life that will make me happy if I have it but will be neutral if I don’t. Mom, dad, your loves to me are my main reason to be more stronger.

Long time ago I wonder why people build a wall sourround them and make them unreachable by other people. When I asked them, they said “in order not to get hurt, you need to protect yourself”. At that time, this reason that they gave to me is unlogical, because you need to be open especially to the person that is close to you. But now, I can see why people do this to themselves and I think it’s better for my to build my own wall as well. I am tired being hurt. It’s not only that, I am sick of getting disappointment as at that time I thought that “it’s right” and too blind to see that it’s not right. Honestly, I do hate myself when I realise that why I am being so dumb to put myself in this position. I deserve better!

For those people who want to laugh go ahead. For those people who want to give me self pity, I don’t need that. For those people who eagerly looking forward to see my failure, you can laugh now, but I will be the one who have the last laugh. For those people who are there for me, thank you very much and I love you guys a lot, you meant a lot to me.

From tomorrow on wards, it will be my new life, my new chapter.

I was rather annoyed today. Why in the earth have those kind of people eager to see you fail? They are waiting and preparing themselves to clap their hand once you make a wrong move. Why being so busybody? I moved on and learned based on my mistakes. Last time I know I was leading a wrong path, and I was stuck in that path for few years and didn’t know how to move on even I know I was wrong. I am very glad I can wake up and make a move to get a better life like now. But even I am happy, someone out there still think I don’t deserve this happiness and been cursing me. I don’t need blessing and I don’t need cursing either from these kind of people. Just reminder: IF YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, GO AHEAD DO WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING NOW AND REMOVE MY INVOLVEMENT IN YOUR LIFE, but as what I have told you before, DON’T TEST MY PATIENCE.

I have another surprise today… but this is a nice one. My long lost friend contacted me in Yahoo Messenger. It’s a real surprise as I never seen him for the past 8 years. I met him during my study in Informatics. He is a very nice and smart guy. He is from Pakistan. Ever since he went back to Pakistan, we gradually lost contact. I am glad for him as now he is working at Saudi Arabia. Seems like he is leading a very good life now. Thanks for remembering me Nademn Wish you all the best there and keep in touch